Keluarga Bahagia

Kisah benar... Beberapa tahun lepas Ramli jumpa seorang janda bernama Ramlah yang mempunyai anak dara bernama Jamilah. Ramli berkahwin dengan Ramlah dan Jamilah adalah anak tiri Ramli. Selepas itu bapa kepada Ramli, Jamrud berkahwin dengan anak tiri Ramli, Jamilah. Ini membuatkan Jamilah, mak tiri kepada Ramli yang sebelum ini anak tirinya. Jadi ayah Ramli, Jamrud adalah anak tiri Ramli dan memjadikan Ramlah sebagai Mak Mertua kepada Bapak Mertuanya. Selang beberapa bulan kemudian, Jamilah anak kepada isteri Ramli, Ramlah melahirkan anak lelaki, Jarul. Jadi Jarul dalah adik kepada Ramli. Tetapi, Jarul adalah anak kepada Jamilah, anak kepada isteri Ramli, Ramlah. Menjadikan Jarul adalah cucu kepada isteri Ramli, Ramlah. Sekaligus menjadikan Ramli datuk kepada Jarul, adiknya. Itu tak seberapa lagi. Selepas itu, Ramli dan Ramlah mendapat anak bernama Jayzee. Sekarang Jamilah, anak tiri Ramli dan juga Mak mertua Ramli menjadi kakak dan juga nenek kepada Jayzee. Jadi ayah Ramli, Jamrud menjadi abang ipar kepada anak Ramli yang mana kakak ipar Jayzee adalah isteri kepada ayah Ramli, Jadi sekarang, Ramli adalah abang ipar kepada emak mertuanya, isteri Ramli, Ramlah adalah makcik kepada anaknya sendiri, Jamilah... Anak Ramli, Jarul adalah sepupu kepada ayah Ramli, Jamrud dan Ramli adalah datuk kepada dirinya sendiri... muahahahahahahahhahaha... .isk isk isk... .. nennooo nennooo..neenooo..nenoooo.. phewiiittttt tebabooooooooooo.. aku pening... .... aku sindirik naik fening menterjemahkan semua nih..Arghhhhhhhh!!!!

Solat,Haji,Makan,Dam

Samat baru sahaja berkahwin.
Kerana tidak mempunyai rumah, terpaksa dia menumpang di rumah bapa mertuanya...

Malangnya, ada sesuatu yang tidak kena. Samat ni kuat sangat makan.
Bapa mertuanya selalu merungut. Beras 20kg, tak sampai seminggu dah
habis. Selalu tak macam ini.

Sejak Samat duduk di rumahnya...
cepat sangat barang-barang dapur habis. Samat betul-betul 'menghabiskan borehhh...' Kebaikan Samat pula ialah, dia ni alim sikit.
Tak pernah tinggal sembahyang.

Malangnya bapa mertuanya tak pulak begitu...
Waktu maghrib seronok depan tv tengok roda impian...
lepas tu sambung tengok berita... lepas tu makan... lepas tu tidur..
esok bangun pukul 8... pergi kedai kopi... bersembang, sampai tengahari.
Balik makan, kemudian tidur... petang pergi kedai kopi lagi...
main dam, berborak mengalahkan orang politik.

Kerana sama-sama ada kekurangan ni lah yang menyebabkan si menantu
tak berani menasihati bapa mertua, dan bapa mertua tak berani
memarahi anak menantu yang kuat makan. Tetapi dia terus mencari
idea... macam mana nak kenakan si Samat ni..

Bengang betul dia... dah lah tak kerja...melantak kuat pulak tu...Suatu
hari dia dapat idea... nak kenakan Samat.. "Samat, mari kita main dam
haji..." katanya kepada Samat... "Boleh juga..." kata Samat tanpa
mengesyaki sesuatu.

Bila sahaja bermain, dia sengaja membiarkan buah damnya dimakan oleh
Samat... Dia hulur, Samat makan, hulur lagi... Samat makan lagi... hulur l
agi makan lagi, dan lagi... dan lagi...

"Eh ko ni Samat... kuat betul makan laa... agak-agak laa..." katanya
tersenyum.."Alamak bapak mertua aku ni perli aku ni... mentang-mentang
aku kuat makan.." fikirnya dalam hati... tapi tak apa...

Mereka bermain set kedua... bapa mertuanya hulur... dia tak makan...
hulur lagi, tak makan juga... kena tangkap... tak macam set pertama...
dia dah bijak sikit...Bila tak makan, mestilah kena tangkap...(sesiapa tak
tahu main dam haji tentu tak faham cerita ini...) kemudian bapa
mertuanya dapat melangkah hingga ke haji...Apa lagi....

"Ehh orang tak pernah sembahyang pun boleh pergi haji ke...?"Merah
padam muka bapa mertuanya... dia nak perli anak menantunya, tetapi dia
yang terkena....

Selepas dari itu, Samat tak lagi kuat makan dan bapa mertuanya dah jadi
alim... tak tinggal sembahyang lagi... sekarang ni ada kat Mekah kerjakan
umrah...
Nak pergi haji belum sampai seru... katanya laa...

Moral cerita : Jangan malu nak menegur kesilapan orang lain, jika untuk
kebaikan...

Doa Pemanis Muka

nie adalah kengkawan yg ensem & wanita plak bertambah2 lah Sahamnya yeaaaaa.........

Selamat mencuba & Semoga berjaya...!!!!!!

DOA INI MUJARAB, SEBAIK BAIKNYA DIBACA SETIAP PAGI JUMA'AT:

Pagi2...jumaat lagi afdal kalau baca sebelum keluar rumah.

Baca kuat-kuat lagi bagus..... Jgn rahsia2.... Bagi semua orang dengar.....

Doa pemanis muka nie sesuai dibaca 3 kali sehari sebelum memakai bedak atau alat2 solek atau minyak rambut atau aper je lah...

Selamat mencuba..... amalkan lah.. Tak rugi...!!!!!!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>

"minyak si tuang tuang,

ku tuang dalam kuali,

muka ku macam beruang,

semua orang gerenti lari.

kuang.. kuang..kuang.."

He he he..semoga bertambah manis...

Hahahahahaha...

ampun tuan ku.... ahahahahaha..... eheheheee... Hamba pon tekene......beb

PeTua JaWaB TeLeFoN

:Soalan: haloo, may i speak to samad please?
Jawapan: maap..sini bukan balai polis

Soalan: haloo, siapa disana?
Jawapan: ntah... saya kat sini,mane le saya tau sape kat sane..

Soalan: haloo, boleh saya bercakap ngan bapak awak?
Jawapan: nak cakap cakap je ler... buat ape tanye saya.

Soalan: haloo, boleh sambungkan ke nombor 323?
Jawapan: maap cik, nombor tak boleh disambung,hanye boleh dicampur.

Soalan: haloo, mak ade rumah?
Jawapan: mak takde rumah,bapak ade pasal rumah ni bapak yang beli.

Soalan: haloo budin, buat ape tu?
Jawapan: kan ke saya tengah bercakap ngan awak kat tepon ni..

Soalan: boleh saya bercakap ngan siti?
Jawapan: maap...nombor yang anda dail tidak mahu memberikan perkhidmatannye... time kacih.

Soalan: haloo, tolong panggilkan samad... saya nak bercakap dengannye.
Jawapan: sila panggil sendiri..saya sibuk...maap

Soalan: halloo......
Jawapan: haloo... pusat sakit mental disini... anda ingin mendaftar?

Soalan: haloo, saya nak tumpang bertanya...
Jawapan: maap... ini bukan kaunter pertanyaan.

Soalan: haloo, betul ke ini nombor 3234412?
Jawapan: sila dail sekali lagi... kalau saya masih menjawab betul le tu.

Soalan: assalammualaikum...
Jawapan: waalaikummussalam..(tupp!..terus letak tepon.salam kite wajib jawab)

Ketahuilah Olehmu

K etahuilah OlehMU
Jika kau merasa lelah dan
tak berdaya dari usaha yang sepertinya sia-sia..
Allah SWT tahu betapa keras engkau sudah berusaha.

Ketika kau sudah menangis sekian lama
dan hatimu masih terasa pedih...
Allah SWT sudah menghitung airmatamu.

Jika kau pikir bahwa hidupmu sedang menunggu sesuatu
dan waktu serasa berlalu begitu saja...
Allah SWT sedang menunggu bersama denganmu.

Ketika kau merasa sendirian dan
teman-temanmu terlalu sibuk untuk men ghubungimu ...
Allah SWT selalu berada disampingmu.

Ketika kau pikir bahwa kau sudah mencuba segalanya
tidak tahu hendak berbuat apa lagi...
Allah SWT punya jawabannya.

Ketika segala sesuatu menjadi tidak masuk akal
dan kau merasa tertekan...
Allah SWT dapat menenangkanmu.

Jika tiba-tiba kau dapat melihat jejak-jejak harapan...
Allah SWT sedang berbisik kepadamu.

Ketika segala sesuatu berjalan lancar
dan kau merasa ingin mengucap syukur...
Allah SWT telah memberkatimu.

Ketika sesuatu yang indah terjadi
dan kau dipenuhi ketakjuban...
Allah SWT telah tersenyum padamu.

Ketika kau memiliki tujuan untuk dipenuhi
dan mimpi untuk digenapi...
Allah SWT sudah membuka matamu dan memanggilmu dengan namamu.

Ingat bahwa dimanapun kau atau kemana
pun kau menghadap... Allah SWT TAHU .......

Dari Abdullah bin 'Amr r.a., Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda,
Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun satu ayat...

0OhhH MotHeR!!

Mom's LoVe...You Will Never Know....
Message: When you were 1 year old,she fed you and bathedyou.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old,she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old,she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old,she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old,she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.

When you were 6 years old,she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming,""I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old,she brought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old,she handed you an ice-cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old,she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old,she drove you all day,from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her,by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old,she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her,by asking her to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old,she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her,by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13 years old,she suggested a haircut.
You thanked her,by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14 years old,she paid for month a way at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15 years old,she came home from work,looking for a hug.
You thanked her,by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16 years old,she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17 years old,she was expecting an important,call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18,she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19,she paid for your college tution,drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front ofyour friends.

When you were 20,she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying,"It's none of your business."

When you were 21,she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying,"I don't want to be likeyou."

When you were 22,she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23,she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24,she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling,"Muuhh-ther,please!'

When you were 25,she helped to pay for your wedding,and she cried and
told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30,she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her,"Things are different now."

When you were 40,she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were"really busyright know."

When you were 50,she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then,one day,she quietly.
And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your HEART.
IF SHE'S STILL AROUND,NEVER FORGET TO
LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER..AND IF SHE'S NOT.
REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT.ON...
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE THYMOTHER,
BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONEMOTHER IN YOUR LIFETIME!!!!!!!

when tomorrow starts without me

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life,
I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you,and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,and all I've promised you".

Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts a new.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,I
'm right here, in your heart.